A whole new me.
Well I've deleted all my old journal entries, I read through them and it felt like I barely recognised the person that wrote them.
Keeping them didn't seem appropriate, I'm not that same over-dramatic, pathetic little girl I was.There they both sat, grown up and yet children -- children in heart -- and it was summer, warm delightful summer
Summer's here, or at least it feels that way, and I'm happy
. It's been so long since I could honestly say that. I want to be outside, I want to be with people that make me happy, the people that are my world. I want to change
I'm not anxious about Summer starting anymore as I no longer fear solitude, I embrace it! I used to have a phobia of being alone, but now I don't care so much. If the sun's warming my skin and the wind blowing around me I know I can be happy.
I want to be pro-active! I want to learn to play guitar, I want to get fit, I want to lose weight!!!
I want to meet new people and grow as a person. I want to be more complete.
I want to get better! It seems I'm constantly ill lately, I've had this same flu thing for atleast half a year [honestly, no exaggeration.] I know why I've had it to be honest, it's because I've been living off of cereal and fruit; I need to be thin. I'm saying this as plainly as I want because I'm the only person that will read it.You’re all kinds of beautiful as you end my day and you sweetly retire as the stars chase you away
I don't need to constantly be in relationships anymore. I like it better this way, I spend more time with my friends, who I hadn't realised I missed desperately.
Flitting from guy to guy is the way I want to be, I'd rather die than be tied down right now. I want the guys that I can't have, ones that don't want to be in relationships or can't commit, and that suits me just fine right now.
My exams are coming up, but I don't think I care. I don't want to be there to be honestly but if I come away with any qualification [regardless of how poor it is] the two years will be worth it. She shacked up with the wrong surgeon. Doctor! Doctor! What have you done?
Sometimes I wish I was beautiful, I look in the mirror and think... I'm so plain. I'm nothing special. With friends as amazing looking as I have I don't even compare. I'll keep working at it though, working harder, losing more weight. I'll be someone some day, I'll be someone that takes people's breath away.
That's all for now I guess, I'll write more later. Having something like writer's block.
x Current Mood: Me